KRAMPUS
by the13thgraduate
Summary: He sees you when you are sleeping. He knows when you're awake. He knows if you've been bad or good… It's not Jolly Old Saint Nick this is referencing- It's Krampus! And he's visiting the basement for Christmas! Can Eric and his friends take on this dark spirit of Christmas, or will they crumble in the face of this holiday demon?
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer:

I do not own That '70s Show, or any TV sitcoms, game shows, songs, movies, or games referenced in this story.

I do not endorse drug use, it's just part of the characters you guys.

There are some curse words, and references to sex, so consider yourself warned.

Lastly, since this is a Christmas story, religion is referenced a lot. The intention is not to offend anyone this holiday season. And on that note, I know a _little bit_ about Krampus, but there's a lot of creative license I took with him to fit the needs of this story.

All that being said, I hope you enjoy the story :)

Summary: 

He sees you when you are sleeping. He knows when you're awake. He knows if you've been bad or good… It's not Jolly Old Saint Nick this is referencing- It's Krampus! And he's visiting the basement for Christmas! Can Eric and his friends take on this dark spirit of Christmas, or will they crumble in the face of this holiday demon?

**KRAMPUS**

**CHAPTER ONE: **

"I hate Christmas." Eric darkly muttered as he entered the basement, the stairs creakingly announcing his entrance.

At this, Jackie (who was standing by the ice chest), jumped in front of him and clasped her hands together in front of her chest as she beamed from ear to ear, "I _love_ Christmas!"

Hyde, in his usual chair, looked over at him, agreeing, "Me too, man. It's all commercialism these days. Buy me this. Buy me that. It's all a ploy from retail stores to trick you into buying items you think are on sale, but never were 'cause they jacked up the price around the winter season!"

Jackie whirled around to face him, a look of disbelief on her face as she said, "That's what makes it holy!"

Over on the couch Donna, who had been reading a National Geographic magazine, didn't even look up from the article she was reading as she said sarcastically, "Yeah, _that's_ what makes it holy. Forget Jesus, take me to Sears."

Kelso, in his usual chair and playing paddle ball, nodded seriously at Jackie, "Jackie, everybody knows Christmas is about Jesus and how he died on the 25th of December for our sins."

Donna finally looked up from her magazine, snapping her head over at Kelso, "He didn't die you, moron! He was_ born_ on December 25th!"

"Nu-uh, he died!" Kelso defended, playing his paddle ball more furiously, "The dinosaurs killed him!"

Before Donna could launch into her argument with him, Hyde shook his head, "Both of you are incorrect. Jesus, if he even existed, would have been born in the summer. The only reason the Catholic Church moved his birthday was to align it with the Pagan Roman holiday which was celebrated in the Winter Solstice. They did it to gain more converts. And besides, December was originally a month dedicated to monsters and death due to many dying in the cold, frigid, climates."

Jackie placed her hands on her hips, "Ok, I'm lost. What the hell is everyone talking about? I just wanna go to the mall and point out the gifts I want you losers to buy for me."

Eric went around her and sat on the couch by Donna, saying loudly, "I hate Christmas!"

Fez, who had been by Hyde's room, came out with a box of very old Christmas decorations the Forman's inherited from Red's mom. His jolly smile vanished as he heard Eric, and he shook his head, "Oh Eric! Don't say that! Christmas and all of the other holiday celebrations this time of year are about sharing happy moments with family and friends! Now my family may be half way around the world, but all my wonderful friends are here and I would like to share my happiness with you this Christmas season!"

Kelso stopped playing his paddleball, looking up at Fez, "I'll go with you to the gas station and I'll pick you up your annual Christmas Playboy."

Fez positively beamed, telling a chuckling Hyde, "Kelso always gives me the best Christmas gifts!"

Donna rolled her green eyes, "That is extremely degrading to women, you know that?"

Fez placed the box on the table, idly looking through it as he shrugged, "If you want, we can pick you up a Playgirl."

Donna made a face as Eric leaned closer to inspect the contents of the box Fez brought out. As he looked at Grandma Bernice's old, glass ornaments, he shook his head, "Christmas used to be all special. It used to have this magical feeling, y'know? And now I'm older and I feel no magic, no nothing."

Jackie moved closer to him and Fez, saying, "You know what's magical? Disneyland! If you want, maybe we can all save a bunch of money to go there! Maybe that'll help?"

At this Eric rolled his eyes, "Thanks Jackie, but I don't think Mickey Mouse and a trio of princesses can help."

Hyde piped up, "Don't get me started in the evil cooperation which is Disney!"

Jackie snapped at him, "Oh you shut your pie-hole about Disney, you unhappy man!"

Hyde looked up at her, quirking his eyebrow over the rim of his aviators, "Someone's extra spunky today."

Fez turned to them, smiling, "I know I am, but it's because Christmas is tomorrow!"

Hyde didn't correct him, only raising his eyebrow ever so slightly. Jackie looked over at Kelso and Donna, both doing their best to not bust out laughing. The only one oblivious to Fez's remark was Eric, who stared blankly at the empty television set.

Jackie turned her attention to Eric, "Y'know Eric, saying you hate Christmas isn't a good thing to say. That phrase is usually reserved for, like, the truly evil entities of the world."

At that moment, the basement door burst open, causing everyone to jump and turn their attention to it. A cold flurry of icy wind flew in from it, and everyone was instantly colder. Fez wrapped his arms around himself, whining, "Aye!"

Suddenly, a pair of snow-covered brown boots walked in, attached to a bundled up person. This person, their hood obscuring their face, fought the wind to finally get the door closed, only to then turn to face everyone in the gang. They lowered their Parka hood and shouted, "I HATE CHRISTMAS!"

This person was none other than the notorious Laurie Forman herself.

Jackie nodded, gesturing to Laurie, "May I present to the court Exhibit A?"

"Oh shut up, insect!" Laurie snapped at Jackie, her words stiff as she licked her cold lips, "It is freezing out there! The snow is up to your knees! And the stupid elementary school choir followed me two blocks! They kept singing 'Holy Night' so many times I wanted to kill them! And then the Christmas lights in every home was so damn cheerful and I am having a miserable fucking day!"

Kelso stood up, "What happened, babe?"

Laurie glared at him with icy eyes, "I am not your 'babe' and my friend Kate is a whore! Bitch left me at the mall so she could go home and hump a masseuse! I had to walk all the way back here to this dump!"

Eric seemed to have ignored his sister as he asked her, "Laurie? You feel it too, right? Like how the Christmas magic is gone?"

Laurie screwed her face, "Christmas magic?! The fuck are you talking about?! My legs probably have frost bite!"

"I can warm up your legs!" Kelso grinned.

Fez nodded eagerly, "I can watch him warm up your legs!"

"And all of you can watch me barf." Hyde threw in.

Jackie nodded, "Thank you, Steven. You took the words right of my mouth."

Hyde turned to Jackie, "I didn't say it for you; I said it for the good of all mankind."

Donna snapped her fingers, "Why is it 'mankind'? Why not _human_kind? I mean, 'mankind' is a word that implies that men are more important than women!"

"Donna, God wants it that way." Kelso told her matter-of-factly.

Jackie looked over at Hyde, "I don't know how this always happens. I follow the conversation we are having and then we hit a point where it completely goes off the tracks. For instance, when did God enter a conversation about Laurie's whorish legs?"

"God does not want that!" Donna ignored them, snapping at Kelso.

"Yeah he does, 'cause he's a man!" Kelso defended.

"How do we know God's a man?" Donna asked, standing to her feet.

Kelso snorted, "Well, he's not a chick."

Hyde rolled his eyes, "Girls, settle down. Yer both pretty." Kelso smiled goofily, as if agreeing with this statement, and Donna considered it for a moment before also nodding in agreement and taking a seat. Hyde continued, "This time of year, generally speaking, is supposed to be the time of year with storefronts and cooperation's capitalize on our idea of peace on earth and good will toward-"

Donna raised a perfectly arched eyebrow.

Hyde looked over at her, ending with, "-_human_kind."

Donna nodded, "Thank you."

"Jokes on you Donna," Kelso smiled, "The word 'human' still has the word 'man' in it!"

Donna snapped her head at him, "I refuse to listen any more to a guy that thinks Jesus died on Christmas by dinosaurs!"

"He did!"

While they had been fighting, Eric had been looking through the box Fez originally brought out. As he went through memory lane with all of his grandmother's ornaments and Christmas decorations, he looked over at Laurie, "Do you think Grandma Bernice ever thought that after she died we'd hold onto her stuff?"

Laurie folded her arms over her chest, her teeth slightly chattering, "Eric, she's dead. Just drop it." She then looked around, "I think there's a heater somewhere down here."

As he watched his sister look around the back of the basement, bit of ice still falling from her boots as she shuffled along, Eric turned back around, muttering, "Christmas is dead."

Fez heard him, and sucked in his breath, "Eric! It is bad enough you say that you hate Christmas but for the love of Old Saint Nick, don't say that!"

Getting agitated, Eric rose to his feet, "Why not, Fez?! I mean, look around here! Nobody cares about the true meaning of Christmas! The magic of life is gone and I'm the only one who's mourning it!" His hand then dug through the box of Bernice's decorations and in a second he took out a cardboard ornament in the shape of a circle- a flat circle. It was painted blue with glitter. Eric shouted at the top his lungs, "I gave this to my grandmother twelve years ago and she kept it all this time! And now she's gone!" He threw it back in the box, "How long?! How long do we have before _we're_ gone?! How long before my mom and dad are just memories?! How long do we have for petty squabbling?! We don't have much time! But nobody cares!"

Laurie pulled a face, "Eric, settle down. Bernice barely took Christmas seriously. Her favorite holiday was Saint Patrick's day because she liked pinching mom, saying that whatever shade of green mom was wearing was the wrong kind!"

"That's not the point!" Eric whined, his voice strangled.

"Regardless, you should never say that Christmas is… _gone_." Fez whispered the last word, his eyes darting about the basement.

Eric folded his arms across his chest, "Give me one good reason why I shouldn't!"

"Because!" Fez squealed, licking his lips, "You will summon _him_!"

Jackie asked slowly, "Who's '_him_'?"

"Is it Santa?!" Kelso jumped in joy and hope.

Laurie stepped forward from the shadows of the back of the basement, grinning, "Is it the Devil?"

Fez shook his head at both of them, "No… but his mythology is of both those worlds."

"How do you know it's a '_him_' and not a '_her_'?" Donna asked pointedly.

"Because he has a penis." Fez said seriously.

"Well, that answered that." Hyde clapped his hands, "Fez here is telling us that we should fear a demonic Santa of sorts who has a dick."

"Is it big?" Laurie asked Fez, slowly walking over to him.

"Whore!" Jackie shouted at her.

Fez shook his head, looking anxious, "I do not know- probably- I just know that this shadow of Christmas comes out to punish the naughtiest children of the world! He is a towering figure, seven feet… no- _eight_ feet… no! _**Nine Feet Tall**_! And he is both a goat and a man! Though some depictions have him looking more like a demon! Either way, he has long horns! Long arms! And his hands are chained together, to signify that at one time this being was punished himself, perhaps by the Almighty! This is why so many believe him to be a demonic entity! But others look at him as an anti-Santa Claus! But no ba-humbug Grinch type is he! While Santa rewards good children, this being will discipline the naughty and the depraved! A lump of coal is the least of your worries with him! He carries with him a birch branch which he uses to spank you until your butt cheeks are bruised and swollen with red puffiness! He also has a basket on his back which he uses to cart away the bad children into his lair in the underworld where he will make them do his bidding for the rest of eternity!"

Everyone was unsettled by Fez's story, with Laurie looking the most intrigued. Kelso looked the most terrified by the prospect of such a creature, and Jackie herself looked more worried than anyone else.

At that moment, the lights in the basement flickered on and off, but only for a moment.

Kelso looked around the still lit room, whispering, "What was that?" He was so scared, he actually stood behind Donna for protection.

Eric looked at the basement light, confused, "Mom just changed that yesterday."

Subconsciously, all of them moved a bit closer to each other, all their eyes on the lightbulb as if they all expected it to turn off by itself.

To break the tension, Hyde looked over at Jackie, joking, "You hear that Jackie? You best behave of Fez's Christmas boogeyman is gonna give you a spanking."

This relieved some tension in the group, especially when Jackie snapped at Hyde, "Oh, you shut up!"

Everyone broke out into light chuckles, silently dispensing the tension in the room. They all stepped a back a bit, but Kelso still eyed the lightbulb, "But-but we've all been good kids this year. So there's no reason for an anti-gravity Santa to visit us!"

"It's not 'anti-gravity' you dink! It's 'anti-Santa'!" Donna said loudly.

Laurie rolled her green eyes, "Dad is right. You are all idiots! The light probably flickered 'cause of the stupid storm outside."

Kelso quickly agreed, "Yeah! That's it!" Soon everyone agreed that was more than likely the cause.

Fez sighed in relief, "Oh good. For a moment I was worried because in my country, to say that Christmas is, um, _deceased_ is just opening an invitation for this being to visit you." He turned to Eric, saying seriously, "Which you should never say that because if you do, he will come."

Jackie asked cautiously, "What's his name, Fez?"

Slowly, Fez let out a breath, "His name… is _**Krampus**_!"

Silence.

"That's a stupid name." Kelso blurted.

"Watch out, now he's gonna get you!" Donna teased.

Kelso, looking up at the ceiling said quickly, "But I bet it's a cool name back in Fez's country!"

"Y'know," Eric said, almost in an annoyed tone, "You're Christmas folklore and moral have no bearing over me. I don't believe in it, and I don't believe in Christmas anymore! It's all a myth! It's all consumerism and commercialism and all the other _isms_! Nothing is real! It's all fake this and fake that! Everything is a big 'ole phony and that includes your stupid Santa and your stupider Krampus! I don't believe in that garbage and we're all gonna die anyways! We're gonna die and be nothing but boxes of memories people shove in a stinky, old basement! So you tell me not to say that Christmas is dead? Well it is! It is and I officially invite Krampus to come over here and prove me otherwise 'cause I know for a fact that everyone in this basement is sinful! We do drugs, we party hard, and we've all had premarital sex!"

At this, Fez pouted, "I haven't had the sex yet."

"There is no Christmas magic because there is no true meaning to life and love! So come after us, Krampus!" Eric, despite everyone's large eyes, shouted up to the heavens, "Prove me wrong! None of us believe in Christmas! **It's dead**!"

He finally stopped his rant, his chest huffing and puffing before he turned to Fez, "Y'see?! Nothing happened!"

"Oh Eric, you tempted the shadow of Christmas! You better hope nothing happens!" Fez said, his eyes wide and fearful.

"I know Forman! What the hell?! You drew targets on all our backs!" Hyde grumbled.

"And you shouted so loud now the whole town knows I'm so not a virgin!" Jackie snapped.

"We all knew that already, Jackie." Donna told her flatly.

"Oh you shut up too!" Jackie said haughtily, placing her hands on her hips.

"Look," Laurie said in an unamused tone, "It's the day before Christmas, the holidays make people a bit edgy and stressed, and obviously my little brother is no exception. So I just suggest we take a quick timeout and-"

She never finished her sentence.

For in that moment, out of nowhere, the lightbulb in the basement instantly clicked off by itself, encompassing the basement in total darkness.

Jackie let out a shrill scream while Kelso's voice boomed, "It's Krampus! He's coming to get us!"

In the darkness, Donna's panic voice resonated, "The doors stuck! Go for the stairs!"

"Aye, Jackie that was my foot!"

"Shuttup Fez, move-move-move!"

"Do not yell at me, Hyde! I am in fear and in great distress!"

Kelso's frantic voice was heard shouting, "Everyone, just give 'im Eric!"

Donna could be heard hissing, "Shut up Kelso!"

Laurie could be heard screaming, "Geezus! Can everyone just calm down!

Sounds of more screaming and fumbling, tripping and shuffling, were heard as they climbed over each other to escape the basement from the stairs that led to the kitchen. The creaks of the steps were heard, the weight of seven bodies weighing on them.

Jackie's voice was soon heard, in full panic, "The door doesn't open!"

Hyde's voice was next, "Lemme over there! I'll bust it, man!"

He threw his body at it, and soon it gave in and opened for them. They threw themselves at the opening, their breathing ragged.

And then… a loud bang was heard as they shut the door.


	2. Chapter 2

CHAPTER TWO:

Their voices were heard up, safe in the kitchen.

"We got everyone?" Hyde's concerned tone.

"Jackie and Fez are here, so's Kelso…" Laurie's voice went on.

"I got Eric! He looks pretty shaken!" Donna's voice spoke up.

"He should be!" Kelso's voice could be heard, reaching levels of shaking panic, "He just summoned the Christmas Devil!"

The steps of the basement creaked.

Jackie's trembling voice spoke up first, "Wait, wait, guys? If we're all here… why do I still hear someone on the steps?"

They all paused in their hyperventilating and panic to hear it too.

And then it was gone as mysteriously as it came.

Up in the kitchen, Kelso completely flipped, "We need ta get outta here before Krampus finds a way out of the basement!"

He ran over to the screen doors of the kitchen, frantically trying to open the doors despite the two feet of cold snow that caked the driveway and Vista Cruiser. He pounded and pounded, screaming at the top of his lungs, "The door's jammed! Krampus blocked us!"

"You idiot, it's locked from the inside!" Laurie hissed.

Kelso looked down, relieved, "Hey it is!"

As he was about to open it, a petrified Fez shouted, "No!"

Kelso was puzzled, "Why not?"

"Because it's snowing and cold out there!" Jackie stated as if it were the most obvious thing in the world.

Fez hesitantly turned back to his friends, his voice high and his eyes scared, "What if it is a trick?! Like, we open it and let Krampus inside?!"

Agitated, Hyde barked, "He's either in here with us or outside! Make up your damn mind!"

At that moment Red came bursting in from the living room, upset, "What the hell is all this screaming about?!"

Kelso blurted, "Krampus is coming for Christmas this year!"

Red zeroed in on a dazed Eric, still sitting on the floor quietly, "Eric! Stop inviting more of your dumbass friends over for the holidays!"

"Oh no Mr. Red, Krampus is no friend! He is a Christmas, demon-like figure who takes naughty children into the bowels of the underworld!"

Red stared at Fez hard before asking loudly, "Are you kids on dope?"

Kelso jumped forward, "Nu-uh! We haven't smoked any all day!"

Both Donna and Hyde glared at Kelso while everyone else but an unusually quiet Eric had rolled their eyes.

Without moving a muscle, Red stood back, folded his arms across his chest and said in a dangerously low tone, "_All day_? Steven, what does Kettle-Head mean by that statement?"

Without missing a beat, Hyde said calmly, "How could we smoke today when we don't smoke at all, Red?"

Not quite believing them, Red nodded, "Mmm, you make sure he means that."

Donna agreed, "We definitely will, Mr. Forman." She then walked over to Kelso and smacked the back of his head with her palm, murmuring, "Shut up, _Kettle-Head_!"

He then turned to his daughter, "Now Laurie, what the hell's a Krampus?"

Kelso blurted again, "Eric summoned Krampus!"

Annoyed by Kelso at this point, Red snapped at him, "Either you can it or your ass will summon my foot, got it?"

Kelso, with childish frustration, sat at the breakfast table, pouting and placing his palms on his cheeks angrily.

Laurie rolled her eyes at Kelso's antic before saying, "Okay, Fez has like this urban legend folk thing called Krampus. He's like a bad guy. And when the lights went out, everyone thought Krampus was going to kill them and freaked."

Red patiently, with mild annoyance stirred in, said flatly, "You mean those brief five seconds when the power went out?"

Everyone paused, Eric slowly looking up, "Wait… the power went out?"

Red shook his head at the stunned and stupid faces before him, "Yes. There's a bad storm. The power is going out everywhere in town." He then turned to Donna, "You're parents are stuck in some club named _Swingles_, whatever the hell that means."

Fez smiled mischievously, "OoO! That is where sexy swingers and naughty singles go to meet!"

Red raised an eyebrow to him.

Quickly Fez shook his head, "To which I have never been!"

Red turned around, leaving the kitchen as he mumbled the word, "Dumbasses" under his breath.

As soon as Red was out of sight, Kelso shot up, "I think Krampus is causing those outages all over the city!"

"Or maybe it's just the storm!" Hyde snapped at him.

"Maybe the storm is Krampus!" Fez reasoned.

"Maybe you're all lunatics!" Jackie angrily countered.

Laurie shook her head, heading to the fridge, "I need a beer."

As everyone else argued over the existence of Krampus, Donna sat near her quiet boyfriend, gently nudging his shoulder with hers, "Hey."

"…hey."

She looked over at him, "You okay?"

Eric stayed quiet, his eyes unmoving from the wall opposite of him.

"Eric?" She tried again, her voice with a hint of worry.

Eric said nothing. He just continued sitting and staring, barely blinking.

"Eric? You ok?" She tried again.

Finally he broke eye contact with the wall opposite of him and looked her in the eye, "Before the light went out… I thought…"

He stopped, struggling to form the words.

"You thought what?" She asked him slowly.

After a moment of inner struggle, Eric looked her in the eye, saying seriously, "I briefly, like _briefly_ shot a glance at the direction where Hyde's room is at 'cause like, I was starting to feel like someone- _something_\- was watching me- or_ us_\- and…"

"And what?"

"… Donna, I would swear on my mother's life I thought I saw two red eyes, like, just sitting there, _glowing_."

Donna paused, "You think you saw that? After what your dad just said? Maybe it was your imagination."

He looked down at his hands, shoulders sagging, "Maybe…"

As soon as she saw the look of melancholy rest on Eric's face, she reached an arm around him and let it rest over his shoulders. She tried to make him feel better. "Have time for a quickie?" She asked, flashing him a winning smile.

Eric looked over at her, with eyes of doubt, "Do you love me?"

She was taken aback by the question, especially since she just offered sex. In the background their friends were bickering, but she nodded, and said loud enough for only him to hear, "Of course."

Eric nodded, "I love you too, Donna." He placed an arm around her waist, resting his head on her shoulder, "I don't want nothing bad to happen to us."

She joked, "Mind still on Krampus, huh?"

Eric looked over at Laurie, who was by the yellow, mounted on kitchen phone, casually sipping one of Red's beers as everyone around her still argued. Her face was hard, unusual for a young woman in her early '20s. Her eyes were almost world weary. Her posture gave the impression she was relaxed, but Eric knew her long enough to know she was trying to appear that way- because she wasn't.

"She was in love once, y'know." Eric whispered quietly.

"Laurie?" Donna smirked, as if she herself didn't believe it.

He nodded slowly, "Yeah… but then a boy broke her heart, and mom and dad brushed off her feelings as a phase. After that she was never the same. Now she can't love anything." He chanced a glance at Donna, "I don't want that to happen."

Donna almost snorted, rolling her eyes playfully, "Eric, I doubt that could ever happen to you. You have a good heart. Laurie's just rotten."

Eric looked passed his girlfriend and again at Laurie, who was still by the phone sipping her beer. He said quietly, "If anything happens to me Donna, I want you to know that I love you. What we have isn't a phase, no matter what the folk's will say."

Donna's face dropped, "Eric, stop it. Don't talk like that."

Laurie felt someone staring at her and turned her head slightly to lock eyes with her annoying little brother, who was still sitting on the floor with his neighbor-girl girlfriend. Eric kept eye contact on her, but spoke to Donna, "Don't forget how to love."

Donna noticed his eyes weren't focused on her, and raised an eyebrow, "What?" She turned her head to look over at Laurie who was behind her, but by that time, Laurie was looking somewhere else and fluffing her hair casually.

Too casually.

The phone rang, jarring everyone out of their arguments and thoughts. In the living room, everyone heard Red talking to someone on the other line. Soon the phone was heard being fumbled back to the receiver. Red barged his way through the kitchen once more, putting on a dark green jacket, his voice all business, "Eric, that was your mother. The area where the hospital is at is getting pretty bad and the damn Toyota won't start!" He then mumbled under his breath, "Damn foreign cars!" He then declared, "I'm going over there to pick her up, gimme the keys to the Vista Cruiser."

Eric jumped to his feet, his eyes bulging, "Dad, if I do that, we'll be stuck here!"

Red narrowed his eyes at his son, "Did you not hear the part where I told you that your mother is trapped in the middle of a blizzard?! Now give me the damn keys to go out and get her!"

Eric shook his head, gulping, "But dad, going out into a blizzard is crazy!"

"I don't have a choice here, Eric! Your mother is scared and she's being brave about it, but she doesn't have to be once I'm there. Now give me the keys to go rescue her or do I have to fight them off you?!"

Before Eric could launch a defense, Red shouted, "Be warned son, I made the same proposition to the North Koreans… not all of them got back up. And those that did regretted it- badly."

Letting out a long sigh, Eric dug in his jeans and slapped the keys to his beloved station wagon in the palm of Red's hand.

Kelso shouted, "Dude! We can't let your dad go! What if Krampus-"

Red glared at him, "You mention that damn pagan name in this household again and I'm making you walk home in this storm!'

Kelso instantly shut his mouth.

Red shook his head, unlocked the kitchen sliding door, and stepped through the whiteness of the driveway. In roughly half an hour, the Vista Cruiser's engine roared to life. He stayed in the car for a few more minutes, letting it warm up before slowly exiting the driveway. In the kitchen, all seven kids watched glumly as the red tail lights of the Vista Cruiser faded away.

As he drove away, Fez said slowly, "Well, I know this looks bad, but at least the lights are on."

The lights in the kitchen flickered momentarily.

Kelso immediately locked the sliding door. Hyde and Donna stared at him, and he said innocently, "What? I mean, we can't leave the door open! What if strangers come in?!"

Hyde rubbed his chin, "Okay, we are all wrapped up a bit too tightly from a _story_."

Fez interjected, "Hyde, may I remind you that when the basement light turned off, you ran for the stairs too."

Hyde ignored him, "The atmosphere is too tense. So, I suggest we lighten things up and the good news? With Red gone, we have absolutely no adult supervision."

"You know I'm like an adult, right?" Laurie told him blandly.

Jackie rolled her eyes sarcastically, "_Riiiight_… and I'm_ like_ a virgin."

Laurie shot Jackie a 'fuck you' look before turning back to Hyde, her hands in her back pockets, "So what do you suggest, Orphan Boy?"

**5 Minutes Later: **

**The Living Room: **

**Deck the Halls is playing on a radio in the background: **

**The Circle: **

Hyde nodded slowly, his throat a bit itchy as he said, "Y'know when I was kid, I always hated Christmas. I didn't have a dad, barely had a mother… my best Christmas gift as a kid? When one of my many 'uncles' would finally roll off my mom." He then spotted a stack of cookies on the coffee table in front of him, "Oooo! Cookies!" He dug into them, closing his blue eyes, "Chocolate chip is where it's at, man." He then looked around a little dazed, "What was I talking about?"

Kelso was sitting on the couch with Jackie uncomfortably squeezed next to him. He shook his head so much that his brown locks dangled every which way as he licked his lips, "You know I never thought I would die like this. I always thought I would go out accidently gluing myself underwater, or setting myself on fire, or falling off the water tower- but never like this. Because, I'm like pretty sure Krampus is real." After he gave it some thought, he shrugged, "Okay, maybe not _that _sure, but if he's anything like Santa then you gotta believe in him to make him real and at this moment, I definitely believe he's gonna kill me."

Next to him, Jackie made a face, "_I _cannot_ believe_ I was actually in_ love_ with you." Then she looked down at the coffee table in front of them, "And who the hell put cookies and beer here?"

Immediately Kelso raised his hand, "I did! They're for Santa! I mean, everyone knows Santa likes cookies and everyone likes beer, so it's a win-win." He then looked over at his right, "Hyde! Stop eating Santa's cookies! Ok- now you're just trying to piss me off 'cause you're drinking Santa's beer!"

Jackie looked around the circle, her eyes pleading with them, "Have you people ever heard anything so stupid before in your life?!" She turned to Kelso, her voice shrill, "Michael! You can't give Santa beer! You'll make him a drunk driver, he'll probably crash his slay into the neighbor's house!"

Kelso busted out laughing, "You heard that Donna? Santa's gonna crash his slay through your house!"

Eric and Donna, sitting side by side, were next.

Donna made a face, "Shut up or I'll crash my fist through your face!"

Eric shook his head, "Donna, settle down! We must keep our wits about us!"

A small squeak was heard. Eric's manic eyes darted wildly around the room as he whispered, "What was that?!"

"Maybe it was a mouse." Donna offered. Then she shook her head, "Wait… that can't be right. _'Twas the day before Christmas and all through the house, not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse._ Hmm, so it wasn't a mouse, Eric."

He heard the squeak again, and this time jumped a little, whispering harshly, "Krampus is coming! Krampus is coming! What are we going to do?!"

Beside him there was a click, and Donna slowly moved a beer can to her lips, loudly sipping, "Hope he doesn't _Kramp-our_ style?" She then started to laugh, but after seeing Eric's glare, she tried to suppress it. It was not a success.

"Donna, this is serious! Kelso and Fez are right! This thing is real!"

She took another sip of beer, shaking her head, "Eric, if you start a sentence off with 'Kelso and Fez are right' then just assume it's wrong. I cannot imagine a world where Kelso and Fez are right about anything."

Next were Fez and Laurie, also sitting side by side.

Fez was completely taken aback, "Donna! How could you say such things?! I am right about plenty of things! The moment I saw Kelso, I said he was a whore! The next thing we all knew, he cheated on Jackie with several young maidens including the voluptuous but deadly Laurie Forman! So, as you can see, I was right about that!"

Laurie was also clicking open another beer, "Voluptuous but deadly, huh? I like the sound of that." She turned to her right, where Eric and Donna were sitting, and smirked, "I also like the sound of this…" She rose her right hand to reveal the packaging of the cookies Kelso had gotten for Santa. She gently squeezed it in a way that squeaked.

Eric shouted, "**That was you?!**"

Laurie laughed loudly, even Fez smiled at her antics as she threw the plastic cookie wrapping over at Eric and Donna's side, grinning, "It's a Krampus miracle!"

Fez's face instantly darkened, "Oh no Laurie! There are no miracles when Krampus is up and about, his hooves stomping around the house! I mean, we were all there in the basement!"

Laurie slapped her face in disbelief, "Are you still droning on about that crap? It was a stupid power outage, not your dumb folklore!

Fez shook his head, "I just know it in my heart to be true." He then took a cookie, biting into it so big that his mouth was covered in chocolate, "Aye… this cookie is delicious."

Laurie groaned, "Instead of worrying about magic and Krampus, our attention should be on other things! For instance, I was watching Rudolph the red nosed reindeer but when I went to college, you know what I found out? Reindeers don't have black noses! Their nostrils are like a moose! So my question, which may or may not open a can of conspiracy, is this: Is Rudolph even a reindeer?"

Fez looked at her in awe, "You learned all that in college?" He turned to the guys with a big grin, "Seems like money well spent to me!"

Beside them sat Hyde, nodding his head in agreement, "Rudolph the most famous non-reindeer. This does sound like a cover up. But I bet those other six reindeer-"

Jackie cut in, "There's eight!"

Hyde scrunched up his face, "Nobody cares about Blitzen and Fritzen-"

Jackie cut in once more, passionately, "There is no reindeer named 'Fritzen'!"

Donna shook her head, "I don't remember Fritzen. Is he in the German translation or something? 'Cause I'm pretty sure the song goes '_You know Dasher and Dancer_…'" After a moment she tapped her chin, "Guys who's after Dancer?"

Fez raised his hand as if her were in class, "Wait, I honestly thought there was a reindeer named Fluffy."

Laurie shot him an 'I'm smarter than you' look, "Fez, Fluffy is a dwarf in Snow White."

Hyde raised an eyebrow, "I think Prancer is a reindeer. I'm also pretty sure Prancer's gay."

Kelso shook his head, "Alright! Only a true Christmas man would know this song and lucky for you guys I'm here. So if I remember the song correctly, it goes _'Hi Ho! Hi Ho! Off to work we go!_'"

Jackie rolled her eyes, "It sounds like your saying 'hi' to Laurie or something. And another thing-"

Eric made a face, "Dude, that's Snow white!"

Jackie agreed, "_That_ was the other thing! You're in the wrong show, Michael!"

Donna was staring up at the ceiling in top concentration, murmuring, "You know Dasher and Dancer… Dasher and Prancer? Dasher and Splasher?" Finally she just shrugged her shoulders and gave up, "Okay, I give. I don't know anybody."

Fez looked over at Laurie adoringly, "I want there to be a reindeer named Comet. That sounds like a cool name."

But Laurie was ignoring him, "Wait… is Fluffy a dwarf?"

Fez shrugged, "I thought he was. There was Fluffy, and Fatty, and Gloomy and Doomy… and Ponch."

Hyde shook his head, "Ok, we'll just be destined to never know the reindeer."

Behind them the Rudolph song played:

_**You know Dasher and Dancer, **_

_**Prancer and Vixen, **_

_**Comet and Cupid-**_

Kelso agreed, "Yeah, it'll be an unsolved mystery."

_**Donner and Blitzen-**_

At that moment Eric jumped to his feet, and switched off the radio, "Enough of this levity wench! Gentlemen and Ladies, we have a Christmas crisis on our hands."

Fez looked down at his hands, "I have cookies in mine."

Eric shook his head, his paranoia soaring to new heights, "I was ashamed to say this out loud, but here it goes… I saw red eyes in the basement."

"Maybe you saw two Rudolphs." Kelso offered.

"Or maybe it was your imagination." Jackie cut in.

"Or maybe it was Krampus." Fez said.

Eric snapped his fingers, "Yes! I believe it was Krampus!"

Jackie raised her hands, "Okay, before you launch us into this crazy story, I need to reapply my makeup." She turned around, "Donna?"

Donna was in the middle of chewing, "Huh?"

Jackie's eyes got large as she said in a shrill voice, "Don't you want to go the bathroom with me so we can reapply our makeup?" After Donna shot her a confused look, Jackie rolled her eyes, "Okay,_ I_ will reapply makeup and you can pick chocolate out of your teeth."

Donna swallowed, "Look Jackie, I don't want to-"

In an instant, the cheerleader had jumped to her feet, clasped her hands, and proclaimed, "Donna and I are going to the bathroom now." She swatted Kelso so that he would move and let her through. Eric's mouth hung open in disbelief as she made it to the base of the stairs, only to turn around and snap, "Dammit Donna, I don't have all day here."

Donna groaned, looking over at Laurie, "I honestly wish you never slept with her boyfriend 'cause then she'd make you go up there with her."

Laurie smirked, "Sucks to be you!"

Donna snapped back, "Well Kelso sucked you, and it was gross."

Eric, Hyde and Jackie looked like they wanted to laugh, Kelso looked upset and Fez just seemed confused. Donna pushed her way out of the circle, smacking the back of Kelso's head as she got out. Jackie nodded her approval when the redhead reached her, "I knew I liked you for a reason."

Donna simply rolled her eyes and the pair went up the stairs.

As soon as they were gone, Eric shouted, "GUYS! We need to FOCUS!"

"Oh no!" Kelso whispered, looking down.

Eric practically jumped out of his skin, "What-what-what?! What is it?! What!"

Kelso looked up sadly, holding an empty six-ring beer holder, "We drank all of Santa's beer!"

_**Upstairs: **_

Jackie was reapplying her eyeliner in the restroom. The door was open, and out in the hall was Donna, pacing up and down with thoughts of a Christmas boogeyman plaguing her mind.

"Donna, I do my best to bite my tongue and try to stay out of other people's lives and other people's business-"

Donna stared at Jackie in disbelief, "When did that start?"

Jackie glared at her, "_-as I was saying_… you need to do something about Eric. Give him a cuddle, make out with him or something because he's being a real buzz kill right now."

Donna shrugged, fixing her light brown vest, "Eric thinks he saw Krampus. To be honest, we all thought he saw him. Back in the basement, we all panicked… it was embarrassing."

Jackie paused with her eye lining pencil, looking over at Donna suddenly, "Did you get your folks any Christmas presents?"

Donna shrugged half-heartedly, "I got my dad a Tom Jones album. And I bought my mom a robe."

"Those are shitty gifts, Donna." Jackie said flatly, "Like, if my mom were around and not in Costa Rica, I would have bought her a margarita machine, and I would have given daddy a new suit. He always wanted a blue suit… I would have given him that."

Donna took a seat by the door frame, asking, "Where's your dad anyhow?"

Jackie returned to the mirror, shrugging as if she didn't care, "He's spending Christmas in New York this year with a friend."

Hearing this had Donna raising an eyebrow, "Is the friend a boy or a girl?"

Jackie tried to look as if it didn't bother her, but her irritated tone gave her away, "She's a woman."

Donna was quiet for a moment before asking tentatively, "She's the other woman, isn't she?"

Jackie sharply turned around, narrowing her eyes, "I am not discussing it, Donna. Do I bring up your parents open- marriage?!"

Donna turned away, her cheeks light pink with embarrassment over the fact that Jackie was right. In a low tone she mumbled, "Maybe Eric's right… maybe there just isn't any magic left for us anymore."

Jackie looked down at the light gray tile of the restroom before turning her attention back to the mirror, saying indifferently, "Well, we all gotta grow up sometime, Donna." But even as she said it, a thin line of sadness permeated her sentence.

At that moment, Jackie slowed her actions of getting her powder out from her purse. She stared at the mirror intently, her face scrunching up.

Donna sighed, not noticing Jackie's odd movements, "When I was kid, I used to think that my parents had the greatest marriage in the world. They were always laughing and they always made me feel special-"

"Donna, shut up!" Jackie hissed, raising her hand, "And c'mere! There's some goon staring at us!"

The tall redhead groaned in frustration, going over to the mirror where Jackie was currently at. Jackie lightly pushed Donna away from her, whispering, "You'll cover it up! Now stop, and look over there."

"Earth to Jackie Burkhart, the goon is your reflection." Donna said flatly.

"God you are such a spaz!" Jackie shook her head, glaring at Donna, "Not at _us_, but _behind_ us."

"It's the reflection of the window." Donna said matter-of-factly.

"And what do you see in the reflection of the window, professor?!" Jackie demanded, obviously losing patience with her self-proclaimed level headed friend.

Donna paused, and silently looked in the space between her and Jackie's shoulders in the reflection of the mirror. There was a window, but down below, through the flurry of white, whirling snow, was a tall, darker figure.

A shiver of goosebumps traveled down Donna's spine as she slowly turned to Jackie, who was transfixed by the reflection, her eyes large and worried.

Donna tried to be practical about the whole thing, "Maybe it's a stranger who needs help. They could be stranded in the blizzard. We should probably invite them inside to get warm-"

"You invite that thing inside and I'll claw your eyes out, Pinciotti." Jackie said firmly.

At that moment the goon looked up, and revealed a pair of blood red eyes, that bore directly to their souls. The girls broke out in a cold sweat, shivers running down their spines and simply looked at each other stupidly.

_**Downstairs: **_

Eric was kneeling beside Hyde, still quite jittery, "Hyde, I can't shake the feeling that something bad is going to happen to us tonight."

Hyde groaned, swirling the last of his beer, "Look Forman, I'd be more inclined to believe 'ya if I had good reason to."

Eric shot up, his cheeks pink with sudden anger, "What will it take for you to listen to me, man!"

"Proof." Hyde spat, anger now starting to get the better of him as he rose to his feet, "And maybe a fucking sign or two!"

At that moment they heard twin screaming from upstairs.

Both boys looked up, perplexed, and Fez shouted in horror, "Krampus got the girls!"

Eric jumped toward the stairs, "Donna!"

Kelso followed him, "Jackie!"

Laurie, curiosity getting the better of her, walked cautiously over, "What in the-?"

Just as Kelso and Eric were halfway up the stairs, they were steamrolled by Jackie and Donna, both screaming at the top of their lungs, and Jackie flinging her hands in the air. All four crashed into the living room, with Laurie jumping strategically out of the way.

Jackie landed on top of Kelso, Eric on top of Donna.

Jackie sobbed, "It was horrible Michael! Simply horrible! We're gonna die!" She buried her head in the crook of Kelso's confused shoulder.

Meanwhile, Donna rolled over so that now she was on top of Eric, looked him dead in the eye and said, "She's right, Eric. We're gonna die tonight. We need to do it as if it's the last night on this earth, because it is!" She started ramming her mouth against him, her tongue fighting it's way into his mouth.

Fez, watching the whole scene in astonishment, raised a hand with big brown eyes on Laurie, "I think you should follow Donna's lead… with me. Since it 'tis our last night on this earth…"

Hyde walked up to them, a scowl on his youthful features, "What happened up there?"

Jackie looked up between sobs, "We saw Krampus! He's right outside the doors, waiting for us!"

Kelso, who was busy looking at Eric and Donna making out, turned to Jackie and wiggled his eyebrows, "He is, Jackie. It's our last night on this earth and we should spend it, uh, proving our love to each oth-"

Jackie slapped him right across the face, "Ohh, you're just terrible!" She clawed her way off him and made a bee-line to Hyde, wrapping her arms around his neck, her red pumps on their tiptoes, as she sobbed into his neck.

Hyde's scowl deepened, "Why does she always go to me?!"

Laurie rolled her eyes, "Say something to cheer her up, so she can shut up."

Uncomfortably, Hyde patted Jackie between her should blades, his blue eyes making eye contact with Laurie over the rim of his sunglasses in a very unsure state, "Uh, there, there… settle down. Everything's gonna be ok."

Jackie was still sobbing, but she had quieted a little.

Hyde cleared his voice awkwardly, "Look Jackie, I'm gonna need to sit down now. You're making me hunch over and my necks starting to hurt so…"

No response.

Hyde slowly walked backwards to take a seat on Red's chair, and Jackie walked along with him, her head buried on his shoulder the whole time. As soon as Hyde sat down, she sat down with him, on his lap, head still down.

Kelso saw the whole scene and scoffed, "Ah!"

Meanwhile, Laurie had picked up a spray bottle and sprayed Eric and Donna with it, ordering, "Cool off, hot pants."

Eric shook his slightly damp hair, "B-but Donna started it!"

Laurie smirked at him, "I know. I was talking to her."

As Eric and Donna crawled off each other, Fez was peering out the window, his voice a tremble, "Ohhhh, we are in such trouble! I see what I believe to be Krampus!"

Everyone stood still, their collective breath being held.

And then Fez's voice said half whimsically, "Oh no, it is Mrs. Merlo's Frosty the Snowman decoration!" He turned to the gang, smiling, "It is so huge and lifelike!"

Kelso threw up his arms, his voice the vision of panic, "If Krampus is real, then maybe Frosty really is alive! Fez, check his hat! Does he have a hat?! His hat is magical! If he has a hat then he could be alive!"

Fez peered out the window once more, sucked in his breath and jumped back, "Holy crap! He has a hat and a corncob pipe!"

At this, Laurie rolled her eyes, "Ok! That's IT! I have had ENOUGH of this crap! Krampus isn't real! Frosty sure as hell isn't alive!"

Kelso started babbling, "If Frosty tries to get us, then what will we do?!"

Laurie snapped, "Big whoop! If that overgrown snowball comes in, we can melt him with my blow dryer!"

Hyde wrinkled his nose, "Guys, what the hell is going on now? We're trying to kill Frosty? Are we waging a war on Christmas or something?"

Laurie then tried to calm everyone, "Look, Jackie and Donna obviously saw this Frosty figure and mistook it for Fez's boogeyman!"

Donna, now calm and reevaluating her earlier panic, thought aloud, "Maybe, maybe Laurie's right. Like, what's next? Whacking Santa with an overgrown candy-cane?"

Jackie's muffled voice came next, "Donna, don't you dare."

Donna crunched up her face, acting innocent.

Jackie turned her face from Hyde's warm chest to face the redhead, "You know what we saw. Don't you dare pretend we didn't see what we did."

Donna fidgeted a bit, but soon regained her posture to hiss, "We were coming off a high. Who knows if we even saw what we saw!"

Jackie slowly rose from Hyde's lap, her tone sharp, "I'm not crazy. I saw it and so did you, you goon! Now just admit it!"

Eric looked over at Donna, "If you saw something, it's ok to admit it. I mean, I saw something too."

Donna looked at him as if he was crazy, "I didn't, I mean I did but-but…" As everyone stared at her, Donna threw up her arms, "Oh for the love of-! Just leave me alone!"

Laurie pointed at Jackie, "Not to take sides with tiny and annoying here, but you must've saw something truly horrifying 'cause you practically mauled my baby brother over here!"

Kelso walked over to them, "Who cares?! What about Frosty?!"

"Forget Frosty!" Laurie snapped.

"Ah!" Kelso jumped.

Fez, who was back to looking out the window, threw over his shoulder, "Besides, after staring at him for a while, I think he's just a decoration."

Hyde covered his face his hands and groaned in frustration, "I'm surrounded!"

Eric shook his head, "Who care's about Frosty! We should be worried about Krampus!"

Jackie agreed, "Yes! We should be worried about Krampus!"

Kelso shouted, "I am!"

Fez walked over, nodding, "As am I!"

Laurie narrowed her eyes to slits, "There is no Krampus."

Hyde looked up, "I agree with her." He then shuddered, "Ugh, I agree with Laurie. I think I feel ill."

Eric was incredulous, "But there is a Krampus!"

Hyde got to his feet, "There isn't!"

Jackie shouted, "There is!"

Donna shook her head, "Jackie, I think our minds were just playing tricks on us-"

Jackie's lips pursed, "Shuddup Donna! There is and you know it!"

Donna folded her arms across her chest, "There is _**not**_."

Fez now shook his head, "But there is!"

Half the gang shouted, "THERE ISN'T!"

While the other half shouted with equal passion, "THERE IS!"

At that moment, the lights flickered a bit. All quieted, eyes large.

The lights flickered back on before the main lights turned off, leaving only the lamps on. An eerie, dim-orange glow filled the living room, and the radio clicked on with a loud,

_ZZZZzzzzZZZZZZ Hello, you are listening to WFPP- The Sound with your favorite DJ, Jerry Thunder (Thunder Claps)! _

The noise was enough to send Jackie reaching out to Hyde for support once more, and for Fez and Kelso to move closer to Eric and Donna.

Laurie looked as if she was about to say something, and the radio dial began switching stations on it's own accord. Fez yelped, "Holy crap! Krampus can possess the radio!"

Laurie glared at him, "Will you stop it!"

"_Hello fellow WFPP listeners, it's me Jerry Thunder! (Thunder Claps) and we all know that the holiday season 'tis upon us! So, to help spread some good will and some peace on earth, let's play a tune that put's the 'Merry' in Merry Christmas! That's right! It's Carol of the Bells! Which we will play after a word from our sponsors!" _

She then marched over to the offending piece of the mechanical music box and threw it on the floor. It shattered, the antenna broke off, the batteries flew right out. For a moment they thought it turned off completely, only, it didn't.

And music began to play.

Unsettling bells were heard from the radio, and soon the six youngest members huddled together, Hyde and Donna looking more confused than unnerved, and everyone else terrified.

_Hark! How the bells, _

_Sweet silver bells, _

_All seem to say, _

_Throw cares away, _

They heard a creaking coming from the roof. Everyone looked up- even Laurie.

_Christmas is here, _

_Bringing good cheer, _

_To young and old, _

_Meek and the bold, _

The creaking turned into an unearthly moaning.

_Ding, Dong, Ding Dong, _

_That is their song, _

_With joyful ring, _

_All caroling, _

A load shattering of an upstairs window was heard, causing Jackie to shriek and grab onto Hyde.

_One seems to hear, _

_Words of good cheer, _

_From everywhere, _

_Filling the air, _

A swift cool flurry of air swirled from upstairs to the gang below, tiny snowflakes whirling around in little circles, causing the temperature to drop so much in do few seconds that they could even see their own breath.

_O, how they pound, _

_Raising the sound, _

_Oer hill and dale, _

_Telling their tale,_

And then it was heard. A heavy breathing that reminded Eric of Darth Vader. And soon they heard clop, and then another clop. Clopping hoof prints descending the stairs,

_Gaily they ring, _

_While people sing, _

_Songs of good cheer, _

_Christmas is here! _

A tall, broad shouldered, dark figure stepped down the stairs to face them. Glowing red eyes that held all their tongues in place, no one could even scream. It had large, impressive antlers crowning it's head, and it's wet nose resembled that of a goat with a nose ring. It breathed out slowly, white puffs of air smoking from it's large nostrils. A large, thick, blood red cloak draped around it's broad shoulders.

_Merry, merry, merry, merry Christmas! _

_Merry, merry, merry, merry Christmas! _

It raised an unusually long, bony arm, it's thin fingers pointing at Laurie. It… growled. And Laurie gulped.

_On, on they send, _

_On without end, _

_Their joyful tone, _

_To every home, _

It shifted it's beady eyes to Fez, it's growl intensifying. He nearly passed out.

_Hark! How the bells, _

_Sweet silver bells, _

_All seem to say, _

_Throw cares away, _

It moved to Kelso, Donna, Hyde and Jackie, saying the same two words over and over again, seemingly more enraged each time. But it saved Eric for last, saying in a graveled voice, "The Worst Child."

_Christmas is here, _

_Bringing good cheer, _

_To young and old, _

_Meek and the bold, _

Kelso was the first to find his voice, "Kill it! Kill it with anything!" He jumped forward to the Forman bar and pulled out a Bible from between a bottle of chardonnay and whiskey.

_Ding, Dong, Ding Dong, _

_That is their song, _

_With joyful ring, _

_All caroling, _

"Take God, Krampus!" He bellowed, tossing the Bible at the Christmas Monster, only for it to fall feebly in it's hooves.

_One seems to hear, _

_Words of good cheer, _

_From everywhere, _

_Filling the air, _

Jackie was the next to snap out of her panic trance, "Laurie! You're blow dryer! Quick!"

_O, how they pound, _

_Raising the sound, _

_Oer hill and dale, _

_Telling their tale,_

"Forget the blow dryer! I'm grabbing a bucket of water!" Fez shouted, running to the kitchen, "If it can work for Dorothy it can work for us!"

_Gaily they ring, _

_While people sing, _

_Songs of good cheer, _

_Christmas is here! _

The Christmas Myth threw one hand in Kelso's direction and shot him flying backwards right into Fez who was dashing out of the kitchen with a red beach pale full of water. Water splashed everywhere as both boys toppled to the ground, Fez yelping, "Aye!"

_Merry, merry, merry, merry Christmas! _

_Merry, merry, merry, merry Christmas! _

Hyde looked back at his crumped friends and soon jumped at the entity, screaming, "BONZAY!" But it caught him in midair. Hid aviators slipped off his nose and fell to the carpet. He blinked stupidly, "Wait, What the-" He never got another chance to say anything as it threw him straight toward the TV set, crashing on the ground. It then stepped forward, crunching his sunglasses under its hoof.

_On, on they send, _

_On without end, _

_Their joyful tone, _

_To every home, _

Laurie walked backwards until she reached the coatrack by the front door. She pulled out an umbrella and ran right at the creature, snarling, "I got some shade to throw at 'ya!"

Eric snapped out of his trance, "Laurie! No!"

_Hark! How the bells, _

_Sweet silver bells, _

_All seem to say, _

_Throw cares away, _

With a wave of it's hand, it seemed to pop the umbrella open right in Laurie's grasp. She gasped, "Holy shit!"

_Christmas is here, _

_Bringing good cheer, _

_To young and old, _

_Meek and the bold,_

The umbrella then spun and spun until she was in the air, dangerously.

Fez had come to, pulling Kelso's leg from his face. When he saw Laurie in the air, he did a double take, "Mary Poppins?"

_Ding, Dong, Ding Dong, _

_That is their song, _

_With joyful ring, _

_All caroling,_

Because of his words, the Christmas Myth knew Fez was awake and soon threw a spinning Laurie right at him. Both he and she screamed, and as soon as they crashed into each other, Fez groaned, "AGAIN?!"

_One seems to hear, _

_Words of good cheer, _

_From everywhere, _

_Filling the air, _

Donna lunged at now, but unlike everyone else, instead of going straight for its body, she went for its cloak. She grabbed it and tried to jerk the monster of the ground, but it merely looked at her unimpressively. It then narrowed its eyes at her.

"Oh, shi-" She uttered before it's right hand turned into a fist, making her eyes go wide and instantly drop the cloak.

_O, how they pound, _

_Raising the sound, _

_Oer hill and dale, _

_Telling their tale,_

She shot straight up to the ceiling, her back making a loud crunching sound as it impacted with the ceiling fan. Eric's eyes went wide at what his ears had heard. He screamed, "Donna!"

She then fell straight down onto the couch in such a way it toppled backwards, and she never moved.

_Gaily they ring, _

_While people sing, _

_Songs of good cheer, _

_Christmas is here! _

Eric and Jackie exchanged frightened looks before both ran at the thing at the same time. But Krampus was too cunning for them, and froze both in midair as it had done with their friend's moments earlier.

At this Jackie screamed, pulling her skirt down, "You're just a big bully!"

Meanwhile Eric helplessly looked at the thing, gulping, and waving his hand, emulating his favorite Jedi Master, "Uhhhhh…. I am not the one you are looking for."

_Merry, merry, merry, merry Christmas! _

_Merry, merry, merry, merry Christmas! _

Krampus was unamused and tossed both of them backwards.

Eric landed by Hyde, Jackie by Fez, Kelso, Laurie and a beat up umbrella.

_On, on they send, _

_On without end, _

_Their joyful tone, _

_To every home, _

All seven members were knocked unconscious by the recent events which had transpired. And Krampus soon moved among them until it found the one it was looking for.

_On, on they send, _

_On without end, _

_Their joyful tone, _

_To every home, _

It grabbed Eric's right ankle, and pulled his still body from his friends, dragging him upstairs and out of the house.

Within moments, the radio died out ant the lights flickered back to normal, revealing six knocked out youths.

* * *

_Disclaimer: I do not own Carol of the Bells, Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer or Deck the Halls._


End file.
